bukan cinta biasa

Pantun Selling

In Uncategorized on Mac 19, 2009 at 1:43 am

Pantun Pertama

Makan nasi berlauk ikan,
Minum air bersendawa pula;
Kalau benar tuan katakan,
Perangai lama datang semula?

Sawah penuh dengan gabah,
Awan hitam membawa amar;
Tolong percaya saya cuba,
Tabiat degil susah pugar.

Pantun Kedua

Bulan purnama terang malam,
Pungguk merindu di pokok sena;
Masuk rumah tidak bersalam,
Adat lama hilang ke mana?

Bunga berkuntum atas petaling,
Pasangan muda riang jumpa;
Adat lama memang sekeliling,
Tapi dewasa sudah lupa.

Pantun Ketiga

Kalau tuan pergi ke tanjung,
Belikan saya kain pelekat;
Kalau benar tiba ke penghujung,
Mengapa masih teringat-ingat?

Sampai terlepas diri maya,
Akan diperangkap oleh karut;
Tuan melukai hati saya,
Bukan senang lupa parut.

  1. 1. gabah vs cuba?
    hence cuba can be ubah that you really want to change

    For the second one

    third line means what? and how does it connect with the fourth? They seem to be two independent ideas.

    Also the second line needs to be rephrase because it makes awkward sense with the dengan which was suggested as memang (indeed)

    For the third one

    What does it mean in the third line?

    The fourth line throws back the question with no visible answer. Of course there is an implied sense cannot means cannot….

    On the whole it is getting much better as the poetic feel is forming clearly. Just tweak a little and these shall be fine.

    cikgu

  2. okie, thanks cikgu, i will look at them again. thanks!

  3. Just a minor point:

    Tapi bila dewasa sudah lupa.

    This is line is good somehow could be more poetic otherwise it is ok

    cikgu

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